hotel room ftw
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
