butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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