Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
