you win again, gameday.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
