So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
