I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
