If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Randomize
