if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
