dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
