Church boner. Awkwardddd
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
