I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
