i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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