you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Damn victory sex feels great
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
