I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
