don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
