i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I will be naked everywhere
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
