I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
it glows. i had to have it.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
