i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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