Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
They have beer where we have blood.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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