I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
