Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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