dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
