I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize