Sry I called you an 8
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
