and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Randomize
