I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
