Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
