ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize