her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
