My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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