u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
