oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
