You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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