i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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