That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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