I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize