We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
