yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
