? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
