xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
