Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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