You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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