I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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