Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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