I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
