The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
