Pappa wants mamma naked
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Randomize
