i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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