conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
