he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
