either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
