we're blogging at a bar
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
