By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
