Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Did you pee in the oven last night??
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
