he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize