i think i have herpe
just one?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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