Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
