Plan B is the new Plan A
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
